Saturday, April 13, 2013

What can I say?

     Heynow. Oh it's been a strange ride for me this past few weeks. First, Angel and I have broken up. About 4 weeks ago, Angel expressed her feelings about me saying "see didn't find me attractive anymore". At the time, we barely saw each other. I would wake up in the morning at 6:45am to be at work at 8:00am. I work 8 to 5pm. She usually works 3pm to 11pm, so we would have about one hour until I had to get in bed and start another day. She was right 4 weeks ago when she said she was in a rut. Honestly, we both were and I didn't know what to do. I tried to make her happy by showing more affection but it didn't work. The break up was essentially my idea. Last Thursday she sent a text saying "I took out my direct deposit" which means her paycheck was not going into our shared account to pay bills. It was a message from her to me saying I'm getting ready to leave you. So I just came right out and texted back "Well, lets make it official". She didn't know what I meant but I said "Lets just break up now. I get my things, you get yours. I feel like I'm not getting any kind of response from you when I show you affection." Later that night we talked it over and settled it. It's weird, right after that I was sorting out my records and dvd's and we were still making jokes like nothing happened. For me, the two weeks between her telling me how she felt and the break up, I was depressed and in a way, I mourned the break up because I kinda knew it was going to happen but I didn't know when. So by me breaking up, I was the one in control. This week she's been with a few friends from Middlesboro and spending the night with them and soon will be roommates with them. I've been alone in this house with no one here besides our dog Sophie. She's been helping me get through this mess. I don't know if Angel and I will be friends but who knows. This sort of thing doesn't work and usually it's a good thing. So I guess, I lost one best friend and two friends from Middlesboro. The only thing keeping in contact is that Angel's car she got on Valentines Day this year, is in my name and we're trying to get it refinanced out of my name and into her's. My brother Casey is really helping me out on that one because he kinda went through that with an ex and it screwed up his credit. Luckily, Angel isn't going to be emptying the shared bank account that is now canceled and I have my own again.
     This next week will be busy for me. I called my boss asking if he was still interested in renovating the office into a place for me to live. Let me back up for a minute. My boss, Mr. Adams, has cancer. He got me onto the engineering company a block away, Vaughn & Melton. So two hours in the morning I go to Mr. Adams to see if there has been any calls or emails and then six hours at V&M. I've been there for two weeks and I like it. I seem to be fitting in, work wise. I'm still a little antisocial around some people there, and I say the wrong things at the wrong time (I think). So before I was hired there, Mr. Adams asked if I would be interested in living in the office. At the time, I was in a relationship and things were okay. Now things have changed and I'll be moving again. Three months in Barbourville and now I'll be back in Middlesboro. Mr. Adams and I are going to talk about the situations about renovating the office into a house. I have questions and he has the answers. I hope everything goes the way I would like it to. That place is like a home to me. I worked there for six years. I've lived in five different locations from Barbourville, to Tazewell, TN to Middlesboro, to Middlesboro again, to Barbourville again. And now back to Middlesboro once again and this time alone. The first move to Middlesboro I had Angel. The other move down the street was for Angel and for more room. Then moved for Angel here to Barbourville so that we could get a dog. I did what I could for the one I loved. And now I'm alone once again. I know this is long entry but I'm venting a little and I don't have any graphics or designs this time. So what can I say? Life has gotten harder so hopefully I'll be able to level up. This week I have $77.88 in my bank account and I haven't been paid by V&M yet. I get paid on the 19th. I'll get about $92 from Mr. Adams for the week and I'll get the pay check the next week since he doesn't feel like coming in the office. I don't blame him, cancer sucks (not that I would know from experience) but at the same time, I'm like "Come on!" It's been busy for me. This week I'll probably pack up some boxes for moving and just have it ready to be packed out this house. We both need to be out by May 1st. Anyway, that was me venting a little and I feel better, I hope. Oh yeah, I fucking hate moving. Later peeps.

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